| unniest topten lists |
| Eat your heart out David Letterman! |
| Top 10 sure-fire signs of cosmetic surgery. |
| When taking a walk, he no longer knees himself in the nuts. He legally changed his name to Penelope. The disgusting cellulite has disappeared from his oozing stumps. He proudly stands at least two feet from the urinal. His big floppy man-breasts are in a jar on the mantle. She replaced her entire wardrobe with Crime Scene tape. Her face is no longer mistaken for Earth After People. She stopped using an aerial view for her Facebook photo. She has the startled expression of someone who has just seen why Charlie Sheen’s nickname is “Two and a Half Men.” Her Siamese twin suddenly dropped out of sight. |
| As you can see, we don't use the Letterman method of starting out with the weakest punch lines at #10, and working downward to the best punch line at #1. Instead, we make sure that every one of our punch lines are funny enough to be #1, or they don't go on our lists. |
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| Recommended reading “The Healing Power of Dog Lick” |